I'm Back!

WOW - has it really been AUGUST since I last wrote?! Time really is a thief...

Well, it's the new year. People making resolutions, starting over, fresh mindsets, you know the drill! My birthday is December 31 - the very last day of the year, so I'm very aware of resolutions and fresh starts... my birthday basically has ingrained that into me. To be honest, I haven't even had time to think about what I want 2024 to look like. I'm still trying to recover from the holidays with a one year old (iykyk). All I really know, is that I want to not feel the way I do right in this very moment. 

I'm a pretty positive person, I like to see the opportunity in difficult things. I like to motivate others, and bring sunshine to peoples days. Sometimes the people who bring the sunshine, really need the sunshine themselves. I feel like I am in a constant battle with myself lately... where to spend my time, who to spend it with, what's too much, what's not enough, when is it time to get out, when is it time to stay in. I have a never ending to do list inside my head, all while going 100 mph all day long, and yet that list literally never ends. I've put the puzzle together for B about 5-6 times already, picked up her toys for the 4th time in a row in one day, heard Mama about 122 times while asking to be picked up 55 times, said no about 85 times to her and about 20 times to Tucker, worked on picking up the rest of the house, laundry, dishes (speaking of dishes, just as we get our dishwasher working again, the garbage disposal quits working... is this real life?!), using my fun new tinecco on the floors for the 5th time this week, I haven't even gotten to the meal planning or grocery lists, updating the whiteboard calendar, prepping for the week ahead... because you know as soon as you start the workweek you don't get a break either... wake up, workout, get B ready for the day, off to the office, home to get B dinner and hopefully play some before bed, get her bedtime routine done, and try to work on the list of never ending things again - oh wait and I have to eat too somewhere in there crap! I know I know, "it can all wait", but the overwhelming anxiety of all the things running through my head is too much to just be able to sit and relax. I know I can't be the only one here! Then there's trying to make room for a social life - hah that's funny! But then again, you sometimes feel pressured because you don't want people to stop asking you and disappear into motherhood either. 

Experienced Mamas - how do you do it, how do you make time for yourself all while doing all the things life throws at you? How do you remain calm and patient when life keeps throwing all the things at you while you're completely mentally and physically exhausted? How do you shut your brain off and relax knowing all the things that have to be done? That doesn't even include the things you want to do, but are way too tired to even think about doing! 

No, this isn't a cry for help. I am a strong and positive woman and I know I can wake up tomorrow ready to tackle my workout and smile and be positive to those who need it! I know that as soon as I get that sweet hug and kiss from Baby B my whole world is turned to mush and I love that sweet little girl all over again each and every time a little bit more! I just know I can't be the only one feeling these things, and want other Moms feeling this way to know it's okay... we got this! (and if you've been here, done that... pass along all the good words of wisdom... as long as it's not "it can all wait" because I promise you, that doesn't help.)

Cheers to 2024 - the last year in my 30s - and I'm sure one of the most fun years to look forward to with our sweet B! Pic below of her big cheesy smile that I can hear her laugh in... this might be the photo of the year, you know the one... the one you pull up anytime you need a good smile and reminder as to why it's all worth it - love to you all!!