Breastfeeding Journey

As you know I'm a routine person... a baby throws any and every routine out the window! That has probably been my biggest obstacle on my breastfeeding and pumping journey. Of course there's all kinds of gadgets, special foods to eat and drink, and try this and try that... but at the end of the day it's all about supply and demand. 

Now if you've ever been a Mama, you know how hard it is to commit to exclusively breastfeeding or exclusively pumping or even a combo of the two. Heck, throw in formula too and you've got yourself a doozy! When Brooklyn was born we exclusively breastfed. That's all we knew, so that's what we stuck with. (Plus with a formula shortage you just prayed you were able to breastfeed because that's scary!) We were already lacking sleep so feeding on demand was no big deal and we were in the stages of 'let everything else go' because the baby is all that mattered so there was no to do list. When she started cluster feeding, I didn't realize that's what it was and I started supplementing formula because I thought I wasn't giving her enough to eat and didn't want her to go hungry, plus she slept SO much better at night with formula! Looking back now I wish I would have just kept up and that someone would have warned me about cluster feeding and that it was normal, I wasn't "broken" or not feeding my child enough. But, as a Mom, you immediately panic and pivot to what you think is working. 

That's also when I started going to the breastfeeding support group on Thursdays. I needed support, answers, anything to help me figure out what my clueless self was trying to do! Every time I would leave group I felt relief, that I was doing everything right, that others were struggling too. I regained all the confidence I needed! 

Fast forward to now. I mentioned routine earlier right? We have NO routine... so I've been struggling. I KNOW I should be nursing or pumping, but every time it would come up I had an excuse. Something else would always need to be done. Brooklyn would be awake or need something (Mamas how do you pump with a baby while your support is gone or at work?!). I knew I needed more calories, but could never find the additional appetite. I'd continually ask for advice, knowing damn well I KNEW what I SHOULD be doing, I just wasn't doing it. "It's me, HI, I'm the problem it's ME!". So of course that cues Mom guilt too. Let me tell you, breastfeeding and pumping is extremely isolating. They talk about it, but you never really realize it until you're in the thick of it. You're confined to the house, to a wall, to that baby at a minimum of every 3 hours or more! Anyway... I'd skipped the last couple of breastfeeding classes because duh who wants to go when you know you're failing!? Not me... luckily I have a husband who could always see how much confidence I gained and pushed me to go again this week. 

You guys, why didn't I go sooner! I knew it was just what I needed. I was the only one there (which let's talk about that too... if you don't know about this group and are a Mama, please join us!! I'll post info below) so we got lots of chatting in about what I was struggling with and what I needed (and how cute my 12lb 12oz chunk who was nothing but smiles was). I'm Type A so of course I show up with my notes on how much I nursed, and pumped, and color coded by how many minutes and ounces, don't judge! HAH. She helped talk me through a schedule that I could try that would also help me get ready for pumping while back at work, because even though it was color coded that was an inconsistent $h!t show. This is exactly what I needed! Now everyone is different so this may not help you, I just needed someone to tell me what to do. Remember, though, this is my journey and my experience and struggles... in seeking advice and convos with others I know there are SO many struggles out there so please speak up, reach out, and just ask! 

There's two local groups: 

1. Tuesdays from 10-11am at Allen Hospital in Waterloo (3rd Floor - OB Classroom A)

2. Thursdays from 4-5pm at Prairie Parkway in Cedar Falls (1st floor - Conference Room 1) 

I go to the one at Prairie Parkway. We talked today how it used to be more of a support group with several Moms, but since c@v!d it's reduced it to only a few... I only have 3 weeks left before work and would LOVE to see any new Mamas out there if you're looking for breastfeeding support!! It's seriously been a huge life saver for me personally. I honestly didn't know what to expect (and if you're like me if you don't know something you avoid it...) so here's a little run down; check in, get baby down to just a freshly changed clean diaper, weigh them, feed them, weigh them again to see how many ounces they're getting per feed, and then just ask questions! It's as simple and easy as that!

Pic of my cute chunk today who will somehow be 8 weeks tomorrow and weighed in at 12lb 12oz like a champ